the week

Posted On March 31, 2002

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Kim and I are watching 10 Things I Hate About You. Only, she’s in West Palm Beach, and I’m in Miami Beach. The phone is an amazing instrument. I don’t think I’ll be calling her again tonight, because last month my phone bill was nearly $300, and I want to try to cut it down.
But above all of that, I want to tell you about some things that happened this past week.
Early Wednesday morning I stepped out to go for a ride before heading to work. There was a problem, however… My Pork was not in it’s usual place.
At first I was like… “Damn, I jinxed myself Monday night when Chad, Lissette and I were leaving to the drum and bass thing, by saying ‘If anyone wants to come back here, through 4 gates, not knowing what they’ll find, then they can have it.’ when questioned by Chad about leaving my bike outside.” Then I thought a little bit more, and I was like… “I bet Chad and Carl took it last night, after coming by to help me hang a shelf; to teach me a lesson.”
And then it hit me… I left my bike at work Tuesday night because I got a ride home with Wendy because she helped me bring my new desk home. So I called 532-5555, took a taxi to work, and all was well. I would have been quite pissed if my Pork got jacked… There are only 5 of them in the world, you know. I have made some room for it inside, which is where I used to keep it.
After work on Wednesday, I rode my Pork to Spec’s. I usually go there on Tuesday to check out the new CD and DVD releases, but I was’t able to make it there on the previous day.
There was a group of negro spring breakers near the parking meter I had chosen to lock my bike to, and as I rolled up to it, I heard one of them say “OH SHIT! IT’S ROSIE!” and at first I thought it was one of their friends, or something. But then I looked up to see Rosie O’donnell parking a dope scooter. She must have heard the girl, because she screamed back “OH SHIT, IT IS!!”.
I stood around and watched a few people take a few pics with her and stuff. A crowd of 15-20 started to gather around her, and I went about my business in Spec’s. I bought the new Sum 41 DVD, which is pretty funny, and I finally got the Linkin park CD.
When I returned to my beloved bicycle, Rosie was still there, along with about 5 other people. I unlocked my bike, and stood in the background for a bit, watching her make funny faces for pics, and sign a couple of things.
AND THEN… Rosie looked up and pointed at me and said, “Hey, I like that bike!” Me, being the clever guy that I am, replied, “Do you wanna ride my Pork?” Rosie said “Yeah, let me see that thing!” So I pushed it over to her.
She never actually rode it… She just kinda sat on it and said “Uh, I think it’s a little too little for me.” and handed it back to me. But not until after one or two of the original black girls took a pic or two of her on it. She said thanks, and i said no sweat and then she got on her scooter and took off.
I had been waiting to tell this story because I wanted to see if I could get some pics from the girls. I gave them my business card and axed them to send me some, but I still don’t have any proof of the whole encounter, and I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to tell my tale, for fear that it might be taken as an April fools joke.
I swear on my Pork that everything happened as I said it did! And I’ll show you if I ever get pics.
As a side note, Rosie looked like she had just spent a day on the beach, drinking, (though I couldn’t tell if she actually had been drinking) without any sun block. It was kinda dark out, but she looked rather red.
At about 11:15 PM on Wednesday night I got a  Booty   Call. “We’re at South Pointe Park. Come over.” is what I heard from the other end of the phone connection. So I hauled ass to the pier, and hung out for a while. We got kicked out of the park at about 12:20. The park closes at midnight, and the security guard is a real asshole.
Thursday morning I got up and made my way to work, like usual. I got my first ever phone call at imPress that morning. I was asked what I was doing at 6PM and I said I didn’t know… Probably going home. I was told that my answer was wrong, and that we would be going to the fair that night. The rest of the day went on normally, and at 6 I still didn’t know what I was supposed to do, as far as getting to the fair. So I rode home.
At 6:30 Wendy called, and asked me if I could still take Zoë to the fair. I said sure. Nearly an hour later Wendy and Zoë picked me up, and we went to the fair.
First we ate. I forget what they ate, but I got cheese and bacon fries. They weren’t the best, but they were not bad either.
The next stop was the ticket booth for some ride tickets. The ticket booth was right next to a “fun house” type thing, and Zoë said she wanted me to take her into it. So I did. She fell on one part, as I figured she would, but I kinda caught her and she wasn’t hurt. She was actually laughing. As we exited, she wanted to go through it again. I started to talk her into checking out some other rides, but she wasn’t having it. Luckily, her mom saved the day.
Next, Zoë went on the little kid’s version of the chair swings. She looked like she had fun. After that she went on some balloon ride with her mom. Then we checked out the petting zoo.
After hitting the bathrooms, we went on the world’s largest mobile big wheel. It was 115 feet high! I was a little worried ( as was her mother) that Zoë might get scared with being so high, but she seemed to enjoy it. She didn’t say much… She just hung on. You can really see a long ways in Florida, at such heights.
Lastly, Zoë and I went on the Giant Slide. I had to carry her all the way to the top, and I must say that I have no idea how her mom carries her around all day! There was a small line, so it took us a little while to get to the top. Zoë was playing with my ear rings, and she said “I like your ear rings.”
When we were near the top, I let Zoë look over the side of the stairwell, and tried to point out where her home was. She said “I like you as a daddy.” to which I responded with a quick “WHAT!??!” “You’re a great daddy, Chrishen.” she said back. I wasn’t exactly sure what I needed to say to that, so I just kinda brushed it off, and said “Aww, thanks!”.
We made it down the slide without incident. Wendy said she was smiling the whole way.
In fair tradition, on the way out I bought Zoë a balloon. this time it was a Tigger balloon, which Zoë picked out herself, as opposed to the Scooby-Doo balloon I surprised her with last year.
I figured the kid would fall asleep on the way home, but she didn’t. In fact, I bet I was sawing logs long before she was.


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