At least I got my Swatch fixed for only $5.86.

Posted On July 15, 2001

Filed under Uncategorized

Comments Dropped 6 responses

When I got home from doing my laundry earlier today, I noticed that my cruiser has a flat back tire. I’m sure it will stay flat for months. This fucking girl will probably start giving me some answers before I get around to fixing that flat.
I rode my Pork to the new Swatch store on Lincoln Road. It was raining, and I hate to ride that bike in the rain… I mean, there are only 10 in the world, I don’t want to jack it up too soon.
There was a pretty bomb girl at the Swatch store. I think she wants my hog. She’s a little on the chubby side, but only by Miami Beach standards. She has a latin accent too.
She said something to me, and I didn’t quite understand her. She was pointing to the back room, and I thought she was asking me if I wanted my knob polished, but she was actually telling me she buffed the face of my watch. She also hooked me up with a free Lime Green “Swatch Guard Too”, to go along with the Pink one I already had. Did I mention that my Swatch matches my new shiny shoes? It does.
From there I walked next door to Books and Books to get something to read on the plane tomorrow.
I was going to get the new MacAddict, but I decided I would wait and see if I could get a free issue at MacWorld.
The art magazines are right next to the “Gay Interest” magazines, and right after I grabbed issue 70 of Design Graphics, this guy goes “Hiiiiiiii!” in a totally homo voice. I give him the chin, and say hi. Then I start looking through the magazine. Then he goes, “Ohhh! Look at choo, all big and sexy and too good to talk to me!” I go, “Huh? Dude, I’m just trying to look at this magazine.” He turned around and stomped off… I mean, he really stomped off like he was 3 years old. It was so funny! I was like… What the fuck even!
So I bought the expensive as balls aussie magazine, and went to get my bike. There were 2 more homo dudes sitting on the bike rack that my bike was locked to. They looked and sounded like Australians. I stood there waiting for them to move, because I was obviously there for the only bike around.
I waited for like 15-20 seconds, and they were looking at me, but just talking to eachother. So I go, “Hey, Stuart O’grady… Look out, huh?” The guy closest to me snapped back, “ON YA!” and they both walked away.
It was funny because he said it in plain english, but I have no idea what he meant.
I pissed off 3 homosexuals today, without even trying.


6 Responses to “At least I got my Swatch fixed for only $5.86.”

  1. kneb

    How much do you trust your bike being locked up outside of a store in Miami?
    And what’s the sales tax rate in Florida?

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