The season is calling your pictures are falling down

Posted On July 12, 2001

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The fact that you’re dragging your feet at all really hurts. I mean, if that’s how you feel then that’s how you feel. But understand that it’s out of my hands. If I were you, I would be biting at the bit to get here.
If you’re unsure about coming here, then maybe you shouldn’t. It really hurts me to say that, but I think this is a type of thing where you have to be 100% committed for it to work right. At least the relationship part, anyways. I suppose that if you wanted to come and check it out, without being in a relationship with me, then you wouldn’t need to be fully committed. But that’s just what I think.
I just can’t believe it’s coming down to something like this. For the past 4 years everything I have done… Everything I have thought, has been centered around you, in hopes of us spending the rest of our lives together. It blows my mind that you can’t see how perfect it would be. How amazingly right it is. I don’t get how you can’t see that.
I also don’t see how you could be so cruel to me. I don’t know how to illustrate a better picture of how important it is that you tell me what’s going on. I am amazed/proud/impressed with myself in letting it go on for so long. I guess it just goes to show how committed I am.
I really don’t know what else to say. I thought we were both \working for a common goal… A future together. I thought that you knew the one single thing that would keep me happy, and working towards our common goal… I thought you knew that one thing was just being straight up with me. Now you seem to be anything but that, and I don’t understand why. But again, I suppose that is partly because you’re not here. I don’t see how you could be anything but straight up with me, if you’re looking me in the eye.
I can’t think of any issues that we might have between us, that wouldn’t be resolved just by you being here.
And besides all that… GOD DAMMIT! I FUCKING NEED YOU HERE!!!!!!!!!!
I need you here so I can wake up, roll over, kiss you and whisper “I love you” even if you can’t hear me, because I want to tell you that, but I don’t want to wake you up. Among millions of other things.
I just wish you would have faith in me, and the things I can pull off. I wish you would/could believe me when I tell you that you have nothing to worry about by coming here. I’ll make sure it’s all good. Why can’t you understand that? Why can’t you see how much it means to me, to have you here? Why are you even sweating it? This should be a no brainer decision!
I love you. I mean that with everything I have. I love you more than anyone/thing in the world. You have been, and I know you can be, the type of person I would pluck stars out of the sky for. And if you decide that coming here isn’t the right thing for you to do, then I’ll just have to respect that. But I won’t like it. I will be very hurt, but I’ll still love you just the same.
Come here… Don’t come here… The choice is yours.
Love, Christian.


One Response to “The season is calling your pictures are falling down”

  1. tats


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